This week in Siargao didn’t end up anything like I thought it would. Thoughts like crashing waves swallowed me and I found myself in this weird headspace. Who knew solo travel was this conducive to deep introspection about life choices and actions. I thought I’d reflected enough during the 4 months I spent getting myself ready to make the choice and another 2 months to set off. Yet here I am.
For the first two days, I just laid there in a hostel full of party-ready foreigners having the time of their lives. The hostel was way better than expected. The room was spacious. The bed was clean and smelled good. Hot showers. Fast internet. The owners have a board with an activity for the day, the time of the high tide, if you wanted to go surfing, and a place to party for the night. However, having just had a molar removed the previous day, I had no choice but to just lie in bed. Here, in a room full of strangers, I felt more isolated – only occasionally giving a smile to anyone whose eyes met mine.
Come Sunday, I was feeling a bit better. Our hosts put together a family lunch boodle fight style – a buffet meal with your hands popularized by the Filipino military. Like the few Filipinos there, I was responsible for explaining every dish to the foreigners eating next to me as well as demonstrating how to eat using your hands. Near me were American and British solo travelers, Josh and Sam, with whom I would inevitably spend some time with for the next two days of my stay in the hostel.
After the big lunch, our hosts brought us to a secluded beach near some mangroves where we just floated and exchanged travel stories. Meeting these two felt serendipitous. I didn’t think I’d meet people who took a similar jump so early in my travel. Hearing their stories got me excited and alleviated the anxiety I’ve been feeling. I felt everything was gonna be all right. I’ve been living two to three months in the future but at that moment, I just lived in the present. Between hearing their stories, I took time to float on the water and feel the warm rays of the setting sun.
In the next two days, I tried to log some productive time while the two explored the island by themselves. We only went out together to eat and to party. I’d explain the food to them while they shared more stories. I went surfing with Sam on Wednesday before I transferred hostels. My friends would be arriving the next day and they didn’t have a definite time for surfing on the itinerary.
The next hostel was in stark contrast to the first one. The room felt like a cave. My storage had rubbish in it. There was a used condom in the shower. No hot shower. People partying loudly at night. Screaming. Yeah. Good thing I only stayed there for a night.
My friends flew in from Manila on Thursday and they packed a full itinerary for the next couple of days. We booked a cottage in a resort. The resort would have been awesome but it was a quick lesson on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. We had three air conditioning units in the room, nice beds, a hot shower, fast internet with Netflix streaming in HD, but no running water! They were getting their pipes fixed. They brought us large jugs of water every day so we could clean ourselves.
We fit everything we could on the few days they could spare for Siargao. We went paddle boarding, eating, drinking, island hopping, eating, drinking, surfing, eating, and drank some more.
My time with my friends was spent catching up but I was also forced to reflect on the effect of my reckless actions on others. When you consider doing something crazy, you first take a look and try to gather the courage to take the jump. But once you’ve taken that jump and experiencing the full consequences of your actions, you see others ready to save you. Sometimes, they can help you without any problems, but other times, they risk their lives. And you can’t just tell them not to save you. The good ones will try. There’s a difference between getting the courage to brave the waves and being fully swallowed by them. Getting thrashed becomes a quick lesson on the difference between courage and stupidity.
Even on this beautiful island, having life-changing experiences, my mind constantly drifted to the future. I realize we can’t really leave ourselves behind when we go on our travels. We take ourselves and all of our emotional baggage with us. We just need to learn to take everything in. Be grateful for the gift of each moment and leave the future for the future.
See you next week.
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